Working as Intended

And, thus, Disc 1 now comes to a close~!

I slightly overestimated how much time I had left until the disc ended, so this entry is a wee bit on the short side. Well, that and I decided I didn't want to be a massive buttface and mock one of my favorite vidya scenes from the PSX gaming era. So, yeah, let's get this ol' show on the road!

By which I mean I now have to run even more flights of stairs.

Ugh.









When we last left Solid 'I'll Die After I Kill You' Snake, he had just finished a climatic battle with Sniper Wolf which wasn't at all climatic, since it ended with him being electro-tortured by a fetishistic Russian dressed as an American cowboy for absolutely no reason. He also discovered that something awfully fishy might be going on regarding the DARPA chief's demise. DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

Once that was done, Snake then proceeded to run up a shit-explodingly large amount of stairs and take out Liquid, who was piloting A HIND-D!? and completely lacked the capability to kill the solitary soldier, despite previously taking two F-16's. Huh.




Back down the... rgghrgrhrgrh... staircase.

Thankfully, I don't have to run the entire shit-cocking thing this time, and there are no soldiers. So it's all good!




"Otacon better have fixed the damn thing, otherwise Mr. FAMAS will be visiting the hind-quarters this evening!"




Huh? Elevator? What's going on with that elevator?




"I'm also hung like a horse. J.... Just thought you'd might like to know that. Y'know... if you're interested."




And you didn't give Snake one while we were standing around in the lab earlier because?




Well, with deduction skills like that I can easily see why you're the scientist around these here parts.


And that's terrible.




"Oh, it went off alright, baby."




"Yeah, that's what they all say, tubbs."




"Sounds like someone needs to PUT DOWN THE FORK!"




"I'M ABOUT TO DEVOUR THE CODEC OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!"




So Snake's going to be riding the shaft in more ways than one?


OW! WHAT THE FU--OW!



OH GEE NAOMI WHY DON'T I JUST BUST OUT MY HANDY-DANDY 'BABY'S FIRST CHEMISTY SET' RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS GUNFIGHT THEN, EH?




.... After this Shadow Moses thing is over, I'm going to shoot them all.

And laugh for a week straight.




IS THIS REALLY THE TIME FOR THAT!?




* ORGY OF VIOLENCE *




Well.... that was fun!




Hmmm, completely top-down camera angle obscuring my view. Either this is suddenly now Grand Theft Auto, or something completely cinematic and force-triggered is going to occur...




And this, kids, is why you don't run on slippery surfaces while wearing socks!




"Eh, just a sniper round straight into the small intestine. It's nothing a small bite to eat won't heal!"
"But... your organs should be imp--"
"HEALS. ALL. WOUNDS."





No, Betty White, obviously.




"this will teach you to call me fat you buttrocket"
"What was that?"
".... What was what?"




Well, golly, I'm convinced.




"Oh, sure thing, Hal. I'll just stand here perfectly still and pacify the living daylights out of her while she continuously fires high-velocity bullets into my fucking skull. What is your problem!?"




"I can't believe the shit I put up with sometimes..."




Did Snake somehow stumble into an awkward blind date argument or something?




"Oh, hey, Wolf. We were just talking about you! Pssst! I think you're completely batshit loco."




Can't what? See Snake perfectly from where she is? I know she's got no eyes like everyone else, but Snake's got the bullet in the stomach to suggest otherwise.




He's more than welcome to get between a rifle and it's target, however.




Awww, I love you too, buddy! :D




D:




"HAL!! ONLY! ... TALK! LIKE! THIS! ...NOW!"




"I mean, I didn't like her. At all. No, seriously, I don't think I can properly convey my sheer apathy towards her. In fact, whenever she spoke I always just stared at her ass. Mmmmmmm... Oh, what? Where was I? Oh, yes, right. That was the only piece hot slice on this entire island, bitch. Prepare yourself to die!"




If you're incredibly boring and feel like wasting an hour and all your rations, you can equip the sniper rifle and fight Wolf like you had to in the previous battle, last entry. It's pretty much the same, except the Thermal Goggles are mighty handy now, since you'll have to search over quite a distance in the dark.

Or, alternatively...




You can hide in the bottom right corner and just fire Nikita missiles at her face.

Mwahahahahahahahaha!




Dun... Dun....




Dunnnnnnnn...... Dunnnnnnn.....




DUN DUN-DUN DUN DUN-DUN DUN DUN DUN-DUN-DUN DUN---




WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!







Welp, that was easy!




Oh, Sniper Wolf...

If only the henchmen in later games got as great a send-off as you.

Alas...




After the cutscene, it's definitely worth your while to check out the warehouses around the arena, as they hold some pretty interesting stuff. Most importantly, much-needed ammo, another cardboard box, and other various knick-knacks. A lot of players tend to skip or completely forget these rooms exist, so it's always good t---




FUCKING SHIT FUCK MINES GOD FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!




Let.... Let's just end this disc already.




MAYBE I DON'T WANNA