Final Fantasy VIII - Part Twelve
Posted on 11/21/2010 by Trambapoline
I think we're roughly half-way through Disc 2 now, so it's time for a quick summary of what I like and dislike so far! Overall, again, it's been quite fun, and the only real downer has been that goddamn Prison section. Balamb Garden suddenly picking itself up and flying off was... weird, but friends have told me that apparently there's a bit of backstory to that later down the line. So we shall see!
And even then, the scene was undeniably cool, so I let it pass.
To the Mayor's House!
Hopefully he's a well-spirited man.
Nice to meet you too, dickbutt!
"You may want to consider firing missiles at it."
I didn't think technicians did that sort of thi-... Oh, I thought you said service everyone.
Shit, my bad.
Well, in fairness, most strangers don't find it customary to smash half an academy into the city.
Squall seems oblivious to the above notion.
And we've done a kickass job of things so far!
Oh, wait, no. Maybe he has a point...
I'll be sure to let the Galbadians know not to fire missiles at you, lest you discuss them away.
Damnable hippies!
Hell yeah.
Well, that was simple enough. Let's head back to Garden~
Oh, fuck.
Why can't anything ever be simple? Why?!
We don't know that for certain. They could be after anything, really.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
Oh no.. You're not going to do what I think you are, surely?
GODDAMN HIPPIES
*sigh* Better go help before the Galbadians shove a missile half way up his arse.
"I know the name of every single person currently in this city! It's an RPG, so there's only 10 names to remember."
DONT YE BE MESSING WITH THE PIRATE CODE, WENCH
Okay, I so don't want to know what he's about to do to make sure the city is spared.
. . .
I'M BATMAN
Get the what over where now?
Oh crap.
Actually, this fight is a piece of piss compared to the Missile Base one, which wasn't all that hard to begin with. If you have Mug or something you can attempt to steal an Adamantite from him (item used for Squall's Lionheart weapon), but other than I just hit Attack until it exploded.
FWOOSH
Another mission accomplished! Life is going well~
... What?
NO WHAT NO
WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU IDIOTS DEAD?!
My blood pressure.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
THAT WAS WHY I SENT YOU THERE YOU GAAH
YOU CAN'T EVEN DIE RIGHT WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
Good. Piss off.
God, this day sucks...
Cool beans.
I'd be pretty damn down as well if I was stuck in a burnt-out vehicle with Rinoa and Zell for lord only knows how many days.
Speaking of, how the hell did they even get to Fisherman's Horizon? Did the Galbadians just head back to the rubble of the Missile Base, find the machine and go, "Yeah, take this crap with us. What? No, I don't care who's currently piloting it. They have to be our men! I mean, duh!"
Why would they bring it anyway? And how the hell did Selphie, Rinoa and Zell manage to climb inside in the 0.5 seconds we had between the time we last saw them and when the base completely exploded?
This is stupid.
You know what? I think I will. We can rant about this whole stupid situation together.
:(
"That's okay, we can still turn it into a makeshift killing device for Zell."
"Shit happens. TRAINS"
Oh, nuts to you!
It's the look of death in your ears. That only happens when you're in the same party as two complete dipshits for an extended period of time.
CRY MOAR SQL
Oh, stop throwing a hissy and just realize she was joshing. Sheesh!
Why do I get the feeling he's going to send me on a mission where the only object is to fight a mountain-sized laser behemoth that's also made of lava? With the current rate of his missions that one's bound to pop up one of these days..
Oh, Irvine, you crazy perv'.
"KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE REPORTS SQUALL GOD I DON'T CARE"
"I wouldn't bother with razing the town. The filthy hippies don't have anything of worth."
Well, no fucking shit.
"The Garden is out of cigars, and the corner store closes at 5pm!"
"So that worthless bint in the library is completely out of the picture!"
You're goddamn right you are!
"Right. First order of buisness is to throw Zell in the T-Rexaur pen and lock the gate.
Popcorn and giant foam novelty hands will be mandatory."
What up, Kinneas?
You seem to be confusing 'congratulate' with 'torture'.
Oh, come on, you can't be any worse than Zell.
Nobody can.
HAH.
Oh, don't feel too bad. It's only because nobody likes you.
"Your job is to hop into the ocean with this bucket of chum and wait for the friendly fishies to greet you!
With their teeth."
That's not true, Zell. We can always beat you to death with them.
Blast out everyone's ear-drums, sure.
God, me too. This whole thing has been a long stretch of nothing!
"(Whatever it is, it better not be whimsical!)"
Oh god no
I can't possibly imagine why.
No, y'see, that's a terrible idea and you're very stupid.
Huh. That's... actually a very mature response on her part.
I'm somewhat impressed. Maybe she'll turn around?
All the more reason to not go!
Seems fair enough. We already discussed this, so that's the end of that.
...What?
What are you, a friggin' eight-year-old or something?
Seriously, what?
God, I hate you.
That's not exactly how I'd put it.
This is what bugs me about the romance story in this game. I won't spoil what happens later on too much, but Squall honestly spends a majority of the screentime he has with Rinoa absolutely hating her. And who the hell could blame him? They have absolutely no chemistry together, outside of Rinoa going, "Tee-hee! Boys!" and constantly bugging the hell out of him.
The only real case we have that they should be together is because people in the game keep constantly screaming it. Hell, if anything, the game points towards a Squall/Quistis romance way more.
Unless it's at the local guillotine, I don't especially care.
I don't even want to know.
Selphie! You big silly!
Just as a reference, the video below is how the music turned out, and it plays over and over and over for the entirety of the following scene. This turns any would-be dramatic moments into comedy gold.
... Why is there blood coming out of my ears?
OH GOD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE LET ME OUT
W.. What do you mean I can't escape?
AH CRAP
"The only highlight of this evening so far."
Please say that it's about how you're leaving the group forever. Please.
They can't get any worse than this night.
"Yourself and Zell instantly come to mind..."
"Don't imitate me. It's disgusting."
POW
"Alright, that's it. Say goodbye to your teeth!"
Negative attention is not good attention, Rinoa!
You're not healthy!
"Alright. I want you to take a shotgun and one bullet. I'm sure you can figure out the rest from there."
Q________Q ;____; :( :( :( :(
You tell her.
JUST AS PLANNED
Only the last few minutes?
"Preferably sometime around Never."
An answer to what, exactly?
"Now can I please get the fuck out of here?"
... Are you really that dense?
She's got us there.
Because of your sheer refusal to not act like a spoilt little brat?
TROO LUV, ladies and gentlemen.
And so they danced on into the night~
"We found that nest of lava behemoths, over."
That's SUPREME commander, to you all!
"No, that won't do at all. I will henceforth be only referred to as 'Super-Kami-Guru'"
Hey... Whoever you are!
Sweet! Trip to the liquor store, anyone?
Damn right we're ready. FIRE THE ENGINES!
WAIT WHAT
One of the most stirring speeches of our time!
Go, Awesome Team.
Selphie's cool too, but Zell and Rinoa are permanently banned from doing anything ever.
Aw yeah! We've got ourselves a ride around the world map now. As silly as it is.
You know what this means?
SIDE-QUEST TIME
There's really only three of any worth to do right now, and two of 'em take place here in the Centra Ruins.
#1 involves just running through the ruins and doing a few simple puzzles. This leads to...
Do you transform into a giant robot horse? Because that'd be awesome!
... Are you coming onto me?
FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Odin doesn't do anything during the entire battle, unless the timer runs out. So feel free to draw or just attack him until he falls down real nice. Sadly, you can't name or actually 'summon' him. He'll just show him at the start of battle from time to time and kill everything.
I'm completely okay with this.
With that done, we move onto #2: Encountering a Tonberry!
Awwwwww~
Anywho, after you defeat 20 Tonberries, the Tonberry King will show up!
He's pretty easy to kill, especially at low levels. He has Death and some other nice spells on him, so if you want you can Draw from him until someone gets down to low health, then..
Awwwww~
DOINK
#3 involves heading up to this little optional village above Trabia.
Or below Centra, if you actually remember that the world is round. Unlike me.
DURRR
AHHHHHHH GHOST KILL IT
Wait..
Specially permitted? We just walked through the main door and sat down.
Maaaaaaaaybe.
Oh, you wacky Shumis!
AHHHHHHHHH GHOST KILL IT
... We probably shouldn't show Quina this place.
DUN DUNNN
Yeah, that sounds kinda like Laguna.
I might just go do that! Thank y-
Uh, dude? Didn't ask.
That's cool, but I really have to go.
What are you? The Shumi equivalent of a rabid fanboy?
... I'm gonna go see that damn Elder now.
Huh? I came to chat, not declare I was witness to a murder.
SPOILERS DUDE SHEESH
I dunno, that doesn't really sound like a Laguna thing to do. Are you sure you've got the right guy?
Yup. That's definitely him.
After one very boring and tedious fetch quest~
Hands? My prize is... hands?
Um. Okay?
I know what you mean, man. How could anything possibly top seeing hands!
... That's a good start.
And another GF added to the collection~!
I don't know. I can't trust any town full of ghosts!
Aw, as so we've all come closer together as people!
<3
That's because NORG was always prepared for a buffet to suddenly appear in front of him.
Right. We out!
Let's see what else we can find in the world.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Since when could Galbadia Garden fly?!
What? Did Martine catch a glimpse of Balamb dodging the missiles and go, "WELL IF THEY CAN DO IT SO CAN WE FUCKERS. PREPARE THE FLYING MACHINE!" What a jealous tool...
And, no, before you ask, it's never properly explained how or when they figured this shit out. They just have, THE END.
Well, better go see what this is all about.
