Working as Intended

The end is upon us!

Well, not quite yet, but y'know. It's been a fun couple of weeks revisiting FFX, especially now that I've managed to keel the Dark Aeons and Penance, something I've always sworn I'd do in every playthrough ever since I got the game a decade ago. Hurray for finally not being a lazy bastard!

Speaking of that actually, I got a few bits of <3 feedback from people over the Dark Aeons and Penance entires, especially from people who don't have them in their version of the game. A point of worry for some was that since I am now Level HAX, and can hit for 99,999 damage, the rest of the storyline bosses just weren't going to stand a chance. And while that's very true, I was somewhat cunning and kept an earlier save during my leveling spree where I'm still weak enough for the rest of the storyline fights to pose a challenge. The party is much stronger than they were against Yunalesca, but the game seems to expect that, since the last three bosses can be exceptionally annoying (though far from impossible) if you just decide to bolt through the story and not check out the sidequests.

Anyway, the point is I won't be one-shotting any bosses today!












With the ultimate baddy destroyed, it's time to go back to Bevelle and speak with Maester Mika.

Because, y'know, that went so gosh darn well last time we did it.




Unless you're about to summon a Dark Aeon or something, what could you possibly do?




See? Even the group agrees!




OH CHRIST NO THEY SENT OUT SHELINDA

I SURRENDER UNCONDITIONALLY JUST DON'T LET HER NEAR ME




An evil what spread by the who now?





"Bitch, whatchoo say!!"




Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.




Oh, that has to be downright depressing. Knowing that your boss is freaking Shelinda...




Hah.




No, you must be the idiot that stands between the shut your goddamn mouth.




Oh, gag...




I like how even the characters are starting to get annoyed by her.

It's that bad.





Much like Obi-Wan Kenobi. If he was a teenage girl.

And could summon giant demons.




The coveted title of Quickest Man to Suck the Fun Straight Out of a Room?




Well, I'd love to, old man, but the story obligations have brought us to your little tea house.




"Oooooh, uh, yeah... about that..."




Stiiiiiill having nightmares about that horrifying third form, people!




Yeah, I don't think that's really going to lighten his mood, Auron.




Well, aren't we the little Negative Nancy today!




Dude, I saw the cutscene where you guys starting thinking up of ways and even I'm not convinced!

I don't think he'll take the news much better.




Have you guys even looked for one?

This isn't exactly a very pro-active organisation! Unless it's about committing genocide.




Yet another name-drop about that dastardly Yu Yevon!

Which now means he's been featured in the story more than Ultimecia. Yay~!




Seriously. Straight out of the room!




Finally someone asks this! Thank you.




Yes, we know all of that already. Got any new info?




Oh. You're... just going to explode into pyreflies then, huh? That's cool too, I guess.

Jackass.




Like CHICKEN-WUSS, this may or may not be a very insulting remark.




OH SHI-

Uh...




Quick, someone think of something!!




Phew!

I was going to propose we murder Shelinda and throw her body into the Via Purifico, but that works too.




AHHHHHHHHHH CREEPY GHOST CHILD

And... why is he propositioning Yuna? At least buy her dinner first!




Or maybe Yuna's officially gone snooker-loopy and is completely delusional.




Nope. They killed the person who had any idea of that and are now basically winging it.

.... I don't get it either.




The third option is more realistic, but for the sake of the plot, let's pick another one!




Not a goddamn thing. Except that maybe he's Yunalesca's father, if Maechan is to be believed.

Where does he get his sources from anyway?




I gathered as much from the whole, 'he summons Sin' thing.




Beats living only for Blitzball.

Just sayin'.




Why? Is the Final Aeon just really picky about its targets or something?




HAWT




"He's a bit of a dick like that."




Bugger. I was hoping he'd just be chilling on a beach somewhere.

Oh well.





I promise I'll summon one of you, okay? As long as it starts with A and ends with -nima.




If I was one my other save they bloody well would!




Beer and whores for all!





Any dream that has a process involving Yunalesca is technically what they'd call a nightmare.

I should know.

Red snake eyes in the dark. Watching.... Can't sleep.... Never sleep....




So you darn well should be!




Uh-oh! Tidus, think of something!




Nice save. That's fucking watertight, man.




>:\/





I don't know how he does it, but he just keeps thinking up these incredible excuses on the fly! Bravo!

Or he could just tell her the truth. But that'd be less dramatic.




NO YOU THINK




EXCEPT ON THE FARPLANE LOL




Oh, lord, you guys really must be desperate...

See? If you just let Yuna and Wakka off themselves and kill Sin we wouldn't be in this mess!




If the message is, 'Shelinda is batshit' then I think that one was already well and truly received by all.




Wouldn't Yevonites get really offended that machina was blasting out their favorite song and try and shoot it down?




Are we trying to defeat Sin here or just peddle tickets for the band's next gig?




For once, I can't say I blame you.

I will anyway, but y'know.




DO IT FAGGOT




Now that preparations for Operation We Don't Know What We're Doing have been settled, I guess it's time for the final showdown with Sin! Or 'showdown wish shin' as Cid oddly puts it in his newly gained and then promptly lost Al Bhed slur accent.




Hopefully he's not hiding in the ass. I swear, you're all on your own if he is!




Which means it totally isn't going to be.




Then Cid presses some buttons and the Hymn of the Fayth starts playing.

I still don't get what the objective is here, guys....




I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't w--




OH SHIT




"HIIIIIII MUUUUUUM I'M ON TEEVEE :D "




HOW? WHY?




A candle-lit dinner and paying for the check.

.... What? You were thinking it too!




This only reinforces my theory.




One of the very rare times where Rikku is snarky~




CHAERG!!!





I'm so very glad he said mouth here.




I don't know what this means, and I probably don't want to know.




I thought we were attacking the mouth? Why would you call that a blowh---

OH GOD




Do I have to? After this conversation I can't wait for Sin to destroy the airship and kill us all.



Brother normally doesn't speak English. This is how we know this is an Important Moment  

It's also the only time he'll ever show concern for his sister while Yuna's around. Don't believe me? Oh, just you wait...




If he said protect Kimahri or something, then we'd have to have a bit of a discussion over why.




TO BATTLE!!1!




Now, I thought Rikku was just talking about the Hymn over the airship's speakers here until she followed up with...




So, apparently:

A) Shelinda got the message out to the entire world in such a short time, and...
B) They're singing so frigging loud that the people above the clouds can hear them.

Well I guess B's for dramatic effect, and A can be chalked up to Shelinda using that scary power that NPCs have where they can move around the world at great speeds and disperse information you've only just learnt of. Just look at Maechan!





"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON THAT IT'S PRIVATE YOU JERKBUCKET!"




And then he throws it into the wind.

Boy, would this lead to a funny conversation if Yuna, say, really wanted to keep the sphere!




But apparently this is A-OK to Yuna and her little 'durrrrrrrrrrrrrp' face she has going on.

Maybe she's just trying to contain the rage?




SUDDENLY!!




WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY A GIANT EYEBALL OH IT'S HIDEOUS!




Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the point of singing the Hymn that it was going to weaken Sin?

This is the exact opposite of weakening!





WE'RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE




Yes. He's definitely weakened now. A-yup.

Who was the mental patient who thought of this plan again?!





"HIIIIII SON HOW'S YOUR DAY BEEN :D "




Is it a tumor? Oh no, Sin's got cancer D:




.... How do you possibly figure that?




For all we know it could be where he fires his lasers from, and we're all going to die!





Really didn't need to know that, game.

Thanks.




And so begins the first of many fights against Shin Sin! This one is basically a storyline fight, in that there's little challenge, and it's just there to move the plot forward. Much like Evrae before, you can move the airship closer and further away with Tidus, Rikku and Cid. He doesn't have much in the way of attacks, aside from ramming the airship lightly.

Again, it's storyline fight. All done so we can do... this!




FIRE ZE MISSILES!!




Or... the giant awesome laser cannons. They're cool too.

Also, WHY COULDN'T I USE THEM AGAINST PENANCE?! That would've been mighty handy then, Cid!




I smell an identical boss battle coming up~




And I was right. Hooray!




And then Cid uses the laser cannons to blow off Sin's other arm/fin/flipper/whatever.

Since it's practically identical to the last, that means I don't have to bother finding a link to the FMV. Score!




Along as it doesn't involve his 'blowhole', you can fire wherever you darn well please!




... Oh.

Cid, your airship's weaponry is very impressive and all, but it seems to have a knack for disastrously breaking, you know, JUST WHEN WE ACTUALLY NEED IT.




Yes, because Spira has such a great track record of using machina against Sin.

I bet Yunalesca is in the Farplane right now laughing her arse off.




Should I put on the Barry White record?




And in the last of the little Affection cutscenes, whoever you have the highest rating with will agree with Tidus and then fling themselves into action!




Or maybe Rikku's just had enough of this whole 'tempting Sin to kill us' business and has cut out the middle man.




WAKKA YOU LAZY JERK GET UP ALREADY AND... Well, sit on the sidelines for the entire battle, really.

On second though, nevermind, don't get up.




We're going to fight a tumor the only way we know how.

By beating the ever-loving shit out of it~!




Actually, it's just a lame-o Sinspawn. Aw ;; This is a little two-stage battle. The first stage involves killing the Sinspawn, and second has you killing the weird flower-like growth on Sin's body behind it.

Sinspawn Genais has roughly the same attacks as the spawn we fought in Kilika all those hours ago~ The two big differences are that Genais likes to cast Cura on itself below 50% HP, and it uses a lot of Fire-based attacks. If Genais is inside its shell, the core/growth thingy can use a powerful Gravija spell. That said, Genais has only 20,000 HP, so if you've come this far I can't see how you'd lose.




As for dealing with the core, just...




Yeah. Yeah, that oughta do it!




In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea to have the fight over Bevelle...

On the second hand, it's Bevelle, so hahahahahahhahahahahah suck it yevon peasant losers




I'm surprised you can see anything at all through that blindingly bright blue display!




Yeah... I think if Sin was this bloody easy to kill, someone would've done it within the 1,000 years, bucko.

But, then again, this is Spira we're talking about.




A-DOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~!!




That's right, it's so obvious even Wakka knows it.




Oh dear. Yuna looks like she's about to go have a Dramatic Moment.

I guess I know who I have to talk to next~!




B.... But... you just.... I.... you said.... and...... love... hate... clouds.... AAAAAAAGH!!




Okay, let's just get this over and done with....




Well, we did just shoot off his fucking arms, so I'm gonna go with 'YES'.




Well I should dang well hope so! I don't want to summon Bahamut, only to find a 'BRB SMOKE 5 MIN LOL' sign.



So they've only been phoning it in so far?

Yeesh! I'd hate to see what an actually trying Anima would pull off!




SO THE LEGEND FORTOLD!




Then... don't summon them?

Seems like a pretty straight forward concept.




If this doesn't end with Yu Yevon and the party having an exciting car chase in San Fransisco with Ford Mustangs, I'm going to be extremely disappoint.




Sounds like me near the end of Final Fantasy VIII.




Depends. Does 'going away forever' count as going away?




LE GASP :O




What? SIN is evolving!!




That's okay, I'm used to this airship doing absolutely nothing to help me when I fight on top of the blasted thing!





WELL THAT'S NOT VERY NICE :(




YA

Oh, god, now even Brother's saying it. The madness is spreading!



Welp, guys, this is it! The start of the final sequence in the game~




FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!




IT BEGINS




AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Unlike every Sin battle so far, the fight against the main man himself can actually be very difficult if you're not sufficiently strong enough. You have about 16 turns to wipe out Sin's 140,000 HP before his Overdrive bar fills up and he unleashes Giga Graviton, which is the big flashy FMV attack from before. This will destroy the airship and instantly end the game. So, yeah, time is of the essence!

On the plus side, Sin doesn't really attack at all during this fight, aside from a counter that can petrify someone. For the first half of the battle Sin is out of range from melee attacks, so Ultima/Holy and Wakka's attacks come in handy here. Once roughly 8 turns pass and Sin's done drawing you in, everyone can take a crack at him.

If you're still having trouble near the end, then Anima, Bahamut or the Magus Sister's Overdrives can deal a lot and it just might be that little push of damage you needed! Basically, you just have to throw everything you've got at him!




Even with an advanced party, that bar got a little closer than I would've liked!




Wooooosh~!





Derp.




He says as everyone just walks right on by him. Hah!




Well..... here goes nothing!




The start of the final dungeon inside Monstro Sin is a strange one indeed. Firstly, there's no icky demonic whale blood or organs to majorly squick everyone out. Just lots and lots of water and Yevon symbols! Like Omega Ruins, the mini-map only shows you what you've already explored, so you pretty much have to navigate in the dark here.

Which, naturally, means I got horrifically lost within about 4 seconds.




WHERE AM I?!?!




OH GOD HOW DID I GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH SIN




Hurray! Finally found somewhere safe!

No, wait, what do they call it? ... Oh, yes! Creepy and ominous, that's the one.




Hey, look, it's everyone's favorite smug, genocidal son-of-a-bitch~




Oh lord. Here we go again...




This is sounding less like a plot to destroy the world and more of a creepy stalker rant.




Not entirely unlike how a bathroom mat absorbs years of filthy liquids.





Told ya that was a stupid idea!

But noooooo, nobody listens to the insane, rambling man, do they?!




I know this is going to be hard to believe, but Seymour actually transforms into something even more freaky.




Um.... If it's all the same to you, I think instead I'm just gonna go cower in the corner in a fetal position, okay?




Seymour has a very strange way of looking for compliments.

Much like his entire life, really.




Ah, the last battle with Seymour~

As with the very first fight we had with him, he will cast multiple elemental spells in one turn. Unlike the other fight, however, we can control what spells he casts by hitting one of the four wheels that surrounds the jerk! The colour closest to him shows what elemental attack he's going to do. For example, in the above shot, he's going to cast four Firaga.

As like before, Yuna's elemental absorbing shields are mighty handy here.

He'll continue his four-spell pattern for a while, until he finally gets fed up with the lot of ya and does...






So, yeah, he's certainly not above just outright obliterating your party if he so chooses. Which he will.

Thankfully he's nowhere near as difficult as the fight with him on Gagazet, so it's only a matter of time before...




SHAZAM!




Not so smug now, are ya, punk?!





It'd be funny if, mid-speech before the battle, Seymour was sent by some completely random and never before seen summoner and their guardians, who just somehow managed to wander into Sin as well.




Oh shut up, you poonty-haired fruit-toucher!




And that's the end of that~




Well, that's one major villain down. One more to go!

After the battle, you're immediately thrown into this strange ruin-like maze that, again, seems to exist somewhere inside Sin apparently. I imagine most biologists immediately turned the game off in disgust and rage right around this point!




And, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, I have no idea where I'm going.




Yeah, methinks this is gonna take a while...