Final Fantasy X - Part Five

Posted on 1/04/2011 by Trambapoline



After the lengthy entry in Luca, we step into the equally lengthy sequence about the operation that was vaguely mentioned by Luzzu back in Part Two! I was planning on cutting this sequence into two, but the Highroad section would be so dull by itself that it made the most sense to mash it together with the second section. Ah, my sore hands long for the days of VIII, where half the dialog in that was so pointless that it could be cut without anyone really caring~!

In any case, we've got lotsa plot to go through and just as many images. Let's get cracking!








We begin our adventure just above Luca, on the Mi'ihen Highroad. Let's kick it!




You mean I can play Blitzball whenever I want? Why, that's so great I think I might just cry blood now!




A Mardi Gra celebration gone horribly wrong?




I liked my answer more.




I wish I was cool enough to be a mud puppy ;;




Oh, so you're a human supremacist now, are you, Yuna?!




Please tell me that's a name, and not another form of Maester. There's only so many silly words I can take.




Ah, so you'll be the source of much future exposition then?




"Not a single TGI Friday's as far as the eye could see!"




I wonder if that's all it takes to shut Dona up? I shall have to experiment if we unfortunately ever meet again.




"So, you know, no pressure or anything."




Excellent! Let's see what the Highroad has to offe-




Oh, uh, hello there!




Nobody hurts the adorable little horsebirds!





Auron always asks the important questions.




While I agree, I think you might need a touch more convincing argument then that.




"THEN I DON'T WANNA ANYMORE >:( "




Ah, the first of many times we'll hear about Jecht, Auron and Braska's awesome travels way back when.




I wanna keep running down the Highroad, but then I instantly spot this lady.

And it wouldn't be an RPG if we didn't try to talk to everyone.




Impatient to get some fightin' on. Nice to meet you.




PKMN TRAINER BELGEMINE WANTS TO BATTLE!




PKMN TRAINER BELGEMINE SENT OUT IFRIT




BARRY USED ENERGY BLAST!




IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!




THE FOE'S IFRIT FAINTED




YUNA DEFEATED PKMN TRAINER BELGEMINE




"But you better not be thinking about stepping into my territory, Belgy, or else you might miss your kneecaps, capiche?"




Then we're cool. NEXT!




Now that all that's out of the way, I can get to exploring the good ol' Highr-




OH FOR GODS SAKE




Okay, this is a good question. Let's see what this Calm is, and why it's such a big deal to small children.

I bet it's something candy-related.




. . . You don't say.




Ohhhhhhhh!

Now it makes sense! Sort of. Not really.




"Then this trip is a gigantic waste of my time! See you later, dweebs!"




It's not worth it. Hah! What are you gonna do now, Yuna?

WAIT NO DON'T SUMMON IFRIT NOOO




"I said no such thing, you big fat liar!"




In other, non-cutscene related stuff, if Wakka and/or Lulu are out of MP when this battle formation comes along, then there's a pretty good chance you're totally screwed, outside of running like a pansy. The Highroad is definitely the moment where the game starts to take off its training wheels and makes you actually think about how you should tackle enemies.

Also, for some reason, when the Bombs expand after every hit (up until they self-destruct) they make Pac-Man sound effects.

... Don't look at me!




*punt*!




AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!





For some reason, this just amuses the hell out of me.




And then some dipshit guard ruins my mood by handing me an Xbox 360.




Luzzu and Gatta seem to be escorting a giant, covered carriage. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMZ




And we run into the very end of what appeared to be a heated argument.




OH NOES!!

Let me guess...




Yup. That stupid cult yet again...




I can't say I blame them in the least.




No, it's because you're a zealot who wishes to cram their opinion down the throats of others who frankly couldn't give two shits. Let's get out of here!




Works for me!




Oh, shush.




This has nothing to do with them kidnapping Yuna, and all to do with you being a bigot.

Also, do you think Wakka would hate Bender if the two ever met? He would technically be machina...




Oh, snap!




Nobody cares what you think right now.




Case in point.




I'm guessing we'll be seeing very similar interiors for the rest of our journey then?




Oh shut up, Shelinda.




That store's full of wankers. What's happening out here?




I'm sure she's doing something very summoner-y. Like thinking about her journey, or Sin, or something similar...




Or maybe not.




Or maybe so.

I'm having a hard time keeping track here. Maybe Yuna needs some concentration medicine?




This conversation will become very awkward in hindsight.




Because you touch yourself at night.




That seems a bit harsh. I didn't think it was that bad a magazine...




Yes, I'm sure that's the solution. Sin will appear one day and go, "Shit! Well, you guys are too peaceful for me to kill now. Welp, back to the unemployment line for me.." and just vanish in a puff of disappointment.




This is a good question.




The reason Sin appeared is because we told a corking good joke?




Seriously? Never?

Yuna, I'm gonna have to prescribe you one backbone and brain. They should do wonders!




I'm trying so much not to take this out of context...




I have no idea what Tidus is meant to be doing here.




OR IS IT?!

Yeah, it is.




Oh, I know where! Lemme guess. Lemme guess!




Damn! I was gonna say Austin, Texas.

I'm way off.




Lulu's not around to crush anyone's hopes, so Auron makes a worthy substitute.




Not only does Auron want to crush Tidus' hopes, he's going to personally drag him across the world just to do it.

That's some dedication!




Well, we know who wears the pants in this party now.

Granted, I think he's literally the only one wearing pants, but that's beside the point!




"Not for any of this lame-wad 'summoning, saving the world' bull-honky!"




And then apparently Tidus falls asleep. Okey-dokey then!




Rin is voiced by Tom Kenny~ I'll do my best to avoid any Spongebob or Powerpuff Girls references, but no promises.




WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE-- Dammit!

It aint easy, okay?!





Fucking smooth, Tidus.




I'm assuming this is Al Bhed for 'You're a dumbass.'




Noooooooooo!




UNHAND THAT BIRD, YOU FIEND!

Though technically the Chocobo is a fiend too, so... uh... You know what I mean!




This battle is unique, because it's entirely possible to lose and still have the game continue. Throughout the fight you can either push the Chocobo Eater back towards a ledge, and he can do the same to you, if you don't do enough damage. If he pushes you off, you end up on a different section of the road ahead.

That said, he is weak to one thing.




Giant firestorm-spewing demonic beings. Aren't we all?




npz

For my troubles, I get a free ride on one of the lovely birdies~




AW YEAH!

It doesn't last very long though ;;




Further up the road, Shelinda gets thrown off a Chocobo. This day just keeps getting better!




Good.




It sounds like the Crusaders are a pretty smart bunch of people! I should considering joining 'em.




Even further up the road, it seems Dona is being blocked by some jerk.

Though a big question arises from all of this, which is...




WHAT THE HELL KIND OF OUTFIT IS THAT?!

Seriously. The hell?




It's a bug~! HIIIIII BUG :D





What could you possibly do to something like Sin? Throw a tarp over its head and discover it's Old Man Jenkins?

I don't know much about this plan and I can already tell it's absolutely stupid.




Suddenly, Seymour and his entourage of hunchbacks arrive on the scene!

Or maybe they're his debuggers, since he's a FRIGGING CYBORG.




"Hello, sir. I'm not too bad. Do you need anything? Like, say, some MOTOR OIL BEEP BOOP BEEP"




I want a pony!




"And I need some tanning lotion and a young Kilikan boy, but it aint gonna happen."




Except for the part where it does. And Dona gets left out, to boot.

Man, this day is awesome!




ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE ZE FÅ°HRER! HEIL!




They're having a celebratory all-you-can-eat barbeque. With ribs!




If you don't shut up about that I'll violate your teachings with my boot!




Translation: "Don't be playa hatin', Wakka."




Or you could just do that.




"Ah, Seymour. It is a great disturbance, you freaky bastard."




Oh, that's the start of a long and depressing road you do not want to go down.




"We're only 10 hours into the game. That sort of information, my dear friend, is only allowed 30 hours in!"




Aw, gonna go cry about being snubbed by a celebrity in your LiveJournal, Seymour Q_Q




WAKKA IS WITH THE SPEAKING WORD GOODS YA




That'd probably make things worse.




"MY HAIR WILL NOT ALLOW THAT!"




" :3 "




Oh, you should hear the other things he isn't meant to say. It'd shock a sailor, it would.




I think it's safe to say that Seymour is rather.. um... morally ambiguous?




That's because he's CLEARLY EVIL.




Robot sympathizer!




Right, off to the Command Center, then!




On the way, we catch Gatta getting into a little bit of a hissy-fit. Oh, joy of joys.




I don't want to say this, but you're starting to reach Zell levels on annoyance, Wakka!




Until they're done exploding and dying, because this plan is going to fail and you're all retarded and ugly?




"That cowlick you're sporting makes you look like you got man-juice stuck in your hair. Sorry, had to say it."




INCOMING DRAMA-STORM! EVERYONE TAKE COVER




It's too late! The man started, and now nothing will possibly stop it.




How well do you think Wakka will take this news?




I'd say better than expected.




"Hey, guess what? You dress and act like a big girl's blouse!"




So he was never going to propose then?




Um, that sounds rather... sudden.

"Hey guys I'm off to go fight Sin bye LOL"




"Hey, guess what? You dress and act like a..."




It's nice to see he spoke to Lulu about this before suddenly leaving.

Chappu kind of sounds like an easily impressionable tool, to be honest.




I hope she didn't use her doll, as I imagine 13 HP damage isn't especially threatening.




"I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DEFEAT KAKAROT YOU!"





Aw, how touching~!




Right, once again onwards to the Command Center!





Hahaha! Maybe that'll learn you not to kick solid metal while wearing thongs, you berk!




So, if Chappu took the sword and died (since we are talking about SIN), Wakka would hate swords forever? Boy, walking around with Tidus and Auron in the party would be about 10x more awkward...




Again, why does it matter? It's Sin. He'd have killed Chappu even if he was armed with a BFG 9000.

Man, that'd be an brilliant fight!




Yes, Wakka. We know.




Elsewhere, the cannon fodder vital troops are getting ready for Operation Mi'ihen!




YES I KNOW I'M VERY EVENTUALLY GETTING THERE ALRIGHT




Well, when you've got the urge, you've got the urge...




Of course he is! It's frigging O'aka!


Or Ho'aka, as he shall henceforth be called.




You can choose Gatta's fate here. Every time I play through this game I keep trying to get the silly bastard killed, but I always accidentally chose the option where he lives. This time is no exception. Oh well!




Uh... ever heard of personal space, Bizarre Plump Man?




Lulu has all sorts of handy information in that Exposition!Cleavage of hers.




Trust me, fatman, you wouldn't believe him even if he told you.





I don't know about you, but I'm getting the feeling that the Maesters aren't exactly nice guys.




He didn't come close to winning the beauty pageant section of the initiation!




"AND WHY DID YOU NEVER CALL ME?! I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL :( "




Was the promise, 'Single-handedly hold up the melee damage dealing in the party?', because you're doing a darn fine job at that!




"Yes. It's full of idiots who can't dress themselves properly... So not much different than here, really."




Whatever gave you that crazy notion?




"THERE'S A BOSS BATTLE COMING UP SOON, PEOPLE. I HOPE YOU GOT THAT. I DON'T WANT TO REPEAT THIS SHIT AGAIN!"




"... Get down from there. You look silly and you're gonna break your hip again!"




As long as you take it out to dinner and treat it right, I fail to see why not.




No, actually, the plan seems to be to torture the captured Sinspawn, and force them to call out to their creator. Now, you have about 5 seconds to tell me what could possibly go wrong here?




If you guessed 'The Sinspawn break out and start killing people' then Congratultions! You're smarter then the think-tanks who came up with this stupid idea.




This is what many people consider to be the first 'real' boss battle in the game, with many players having to attempt this fight 3-5 times. No more easy gimmicky mechanics to give you a giant advantage or anything. It's just you, the Sinspawn, and it's 16,000 HP standing in the way. Its arms and head also have HP, and you'll need to kill them before any melee character can attack the central body. Sadly, they regenerate after a while, but there's plenty of time to get some good damage in.

The character who shines above all others here is Lulu, especially if you have her Fira/Thundara/Blizzara/Watera spells. Tidus should have Haste by now, which is also extremely handy. And, if all else fails, summon Valefor/Ifrit and blow it up real good.




CHAERG!!




However, despite the appearance of its father, the Sinspawn still decides to be a giant poophead and not die!




The second boss battle with it is just a much easier version of the first, except that Seymour joins the party! I think his spells are meant to be impressive, like when you have Sephiroth in your party in VII, but Lulu has those spells now as well... so, yeah, not that spiffy, Seymour!




And then the bloody thing finally kicks the bucket!

Right. Let's see how Operation Guaranteed Success is going, shall we?




I'm gonna be totally honest with you. I think their plan has a few kinks in it.




Well... uh.. maybe they're not dead? They must just be KO'd, yeah! Quick, grab the Phoenix Downs and we can--




..... Oh.




Tidus does the logical thing after seeing Sin effortlessly kill thousands of soldiers. He tries to chase after it...


OF COURSE!




"Those giant laser machina cannons didn't do squat, but this here sword? Yeah, this'll do the trick!"




Maybe it was gas?

It was probably gas.




Suddenly, we cut to another flashback!




"Eeeeeugh, I'm not drunk ash thish think you am!"




"... I just don't want to!"




DO IT FAGGOT




Wise words to live by~




Yeah, Jecht's a bit of an asshole, isn't he?




By my count? -457

I have a pretty shitty calculator, granted.




Shoot her in the legs. I hear that does the trick.




"I just love happy endings. Don't you?"




Auron sounds a bit displeased by this.




The man's not done being annoyed by everyone and everything around him just yet, though!




That seems a bit weird though, doesn't it? If the operation was to increase faith in the Yevon religion cult relgion, then wouldn't having the Maesters here kind of shoot that in the foot, as they'd be associated with it? Or maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way...




"You're using actual logic! We don't take kindly to that sort of thing is these here parts, boy..."




Elsewhere, Seymour and Yuna are having a conversation about how gosh-darn important Summoners are.




I think this is meant to be Very Important, but we don't know who those people are yet, so... yay?




Yeah, that was my reaction to the above line as well.




Wait, before you go! Are you sure you don't want some tin oil for the road? You know, in case your joints start to dry up or something you freaky goddamn cyborg!




And now back to Auron trying to explain what's up with that giant whale of death.




In fairness, it still does seem really friggin' bizarre.




Yup. Y-... You should be flattered?




Is the answer bacon? That's always the answer.




Aww~ What a lovely family dynamic Tidus and Jecht have!




Batman knows everything!





Hah!




On the way out, you can run into Shelinda again, who at least has the kindness to shut her trap and just heal you. Unfortunately, after she cases Cure, she makes a sigh that sounds like she's... um.... spent.

Oh, my ears. I don't think they'll ever stop bleeding.




We out!




Approximately 156 years.




Good to see those Guado have outstanding originality when it comes to naming their settlements.




MODDED FOR: SPOILERS WITHOUT WARNING




Quistis would be proud of your use of coloured text, young one!




Yeah, let's just have Yuna ditch her entire role of saving the people of this world from Sin so you can go frolic about in some old ruins and act all mopey. I think I'll pass on that!




Translation: "No, you impatient butthole!"




What up?




"YOU'RE FIRED"




"HEY YUNA GUESS WHAT I KNOW!! :D "





I can't tell if that means that he thinks Yuna is smarter, or just extremely naive.

Probably the latter.




"No, I just thought the look on your face would be priceless!"




And how he acted in Luca wasn't emotional for him? Eek!





Hahaha

Ahhh, awesome.




Oh, be quiet.




Along the World's Shortest Bridge, we come across people who survived the Djose Clusterfuck.

It's basically just Lucil, Elma and whatshisface, if for some reason you care about them.




HMMMM I WONDER WHAT ELEMENT THE AEON IN THIS TEMPLE WILL BE

And on that astounding cliffhanger, I shall you guys later. Toodles!